This is my blog where I will be writing about my life as it happens. I am married to my best friend, my confident, my soulmate. We have 2 girls, then a boy, all healthy pregnancies, healthy babies. Then on April 14, 2009, our fourth baby was damaged during labor and delivery. I do not understand why this happened to us, we did everything we thought we were supposed to do. We love each other, we love ourselves, and we love our children more than anything. Chase would have only enhanced what we already had. But instead of being in our arms, he is in our hearts, in our minds and in our souls, deeply embedded, walking this road of life with us in another form. We are all different people, trying to learn how to be a family this way. But I am the luckiest girl in the world to have what I have. I just happen to be one of the unluckiest, too, for having been dealt this tragedy.